Six Sentence Sunday is back. This is from a story I haven’t worked on in a while. It’s about a time traveller who is looking to save his father’s sanity. In this scene, John, the protagonist, is at his younger sister's house for breakfast.
Mary wiped the tears from her cheeks and then sat on the stool next to him clutching her coffee cup with both hands. Only twenty-six, she looked like she could be his mother. Thick around the middle, drab eyes and choppily cut brown hair pulled into a unfalteringly thin ponytail, she was the sister who wasn’t going to get a handle on her life anytime soon.
John didn't like what that implied, ‘get a handle’. Was she supposed to hold back her anger until it broke her in half? Or was there some other purpose to reducing her pain to a cliché?
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Beautiful pic. Good point about the cliche - does make one wonder
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by. I hope to get this one going later this year. One book at a time:)
DeleteLove the tone on this. Great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat work.
ReplyDeleteThere's a whole lot of history lurking behind this...and yes, the cliche brush-off lets them avoid someone else's pain.
ReplyDeleteFamily can cause more pain to family than anyone ever...so yeah, you got it! Thanks for reading.
DeleteGreat but sad snippet. I especially like the line about the cliche.
ReplyDelete